May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
