Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
