I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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