her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
When are your genitals available?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
