I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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