What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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