I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
