ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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