I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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