You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
