It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
