we have pet lesbian snakes
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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