watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
