We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
