remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
