How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
