Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
