I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I hate all girls vehemently.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
