I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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