And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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