she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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