He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
