Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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