Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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