I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
