id be glad to
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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