i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
