I wanna passion pit in your ass
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
