I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
