goodnight i made you a song goodbye
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
