Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
