Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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