oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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