New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
