After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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