Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
