Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
