She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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