I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
