I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
