That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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