its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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