I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My ass is underappreciated
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
