Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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