We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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