YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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