something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
