No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
