it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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