if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
