So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
