Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
