now i know why i became what i already was.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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