i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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