Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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