Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
