if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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