My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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