I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
