It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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