she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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